17th July 2012

“I never believed. I thought all the services at school were ludicrous. Loved the hymns, but the content of the hymns were so absurd. Dense theology, weird stuff.”

Polly Toynbee

6 Responses to “17th July 2012”

  1. Kittie Aldakkour Says:

    I didn’t like the music either. No instruments were allowed in the church of my youth. The seats were hard and no god would enjoy what they called singing. Funny thing for me now is looking around at all my lovely Christian friends who do not really live like they even know what the bible says about anything, and instead living like they believe a loving Santa god would want them to live. It is a good thing that I can’t believe all that crap – because if I could I would believe it and live it and that would be a miserable life. I know some of them have figured out my lack of faith – I feel the distance now. They liked me better when I pretended as they still do..I am over it now though and like to thank god for making me this way.

  2. TIGERLILY Says:

    The line from the hymn about ” being washed in the blood of the lamb” sticks in my mind.

  3. Sinjin Smythe Says:

    I never believed either and thought of it all just the oddest things to occupy your time with. None of it ever added up to anything even remotely interesting. I was so lucky my parents weren’t into it, I got to play hockey on Sunday mornings while the other kids sat in musty old buildings, listened to some dandy all dressed in silly robes moan gutteral noises, and having to be quiet. Man what an incredible waste of time.

    My, then 7 years old, daughter was at the club we belong to and I overheard her talking to another little girl about church and god. The little girl caught my attention when she remarked “You don’t believe in the heavenly father!”

    I almost doubled over in laughter before I realized the poor kid had already be brainwashed by these sicko religious freaks. Then I felt saddness for her.

  4. TIGERLILY Says:

    It would be mutual.

  5. Xhim Says:

    Kitty, you sound like you grew up in the church. Were you like Toynbee and never believed, or did you give it up later?

  6. Kittie Aldakkour Says:

    Hello Xhim,
    I did grow up sitting in a Church of Christ pew.. I would say that before I was capable of critical thought I had fear. Fear of burning in hell as a child, fear of the pain and torture and of being all alone without my family. I actually believed that every little child transaction I had thought or said would be on a list. In our family you could not say “my God” as that was taking the lords name in vain.. and even uttered accidentally would result in getting your mouth washed out with soap till you puked. I always joked that I didn’t like church because every Sunday I would earn a butt busting after church for some stupid kid-transgression like fidgeting or kicking one of my siblings… who also got their butt busted. I was one of those kids who always needed to know “WHY” something was. In Christianity – there are some questions that the answer is you have to have FAITH and GOD works in mysterious ways we cannot understand… My skepticism grew and my fear subsided. I stopped going to Church when I was no longer forced – and I started reading everything I could find to look for answers. I looked at other belief systems too as points of research. I think there are things we can’t explain yet. I no longer believe in a god who steps in or listens to prayers and reacts to anything on this planet. I have kids so I have to be careful. Christian communities are not nice when you don’t play the game.