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I pray to a god call Éclair,
That has chocolate where there should be hair,
I worship each day
In the same delish way
Now I’m too fat to climb up my stairs.
Maybe not clever but it’s the end of the day and I’m hungry.
P.S. the truth of Jefferson’s statement is self-evident.
bullshit! u dont believe a horse developed wings and flew muhammad to heaven to talk to jesus, abraham, julius caeser, and santa clause??? blasphemy! ull burn in hell for such thoughts!! u must accept these facts to save your soul!
A forced trip in summer
A relic to see
This little boy in Mecca
Will never be free
Thomas was a true visionary, as many of the founding fathers were. I find it oddly satisfying that America, land of the right-wing conservative wing-nut, was founded by men who would never recognize the brand of Christianity being practiced there today. And to think that most of these Americans use Thomas Jefferson as an argument to support their claim that the US was founded on Christian values. Few western politicians today could ever be elected if they voiced similar sentiments.
Which makes me wonder what we’ve given up. As you point out, GWG, Jefferson probably could not be elected to high office in America. Could this be why the level of discourse in the Congress seems like a circus some days and a tent revival others?
When you say Christian values, what do you think Christian values are.Values can be good and moral always trying to do whats right,but what is your idea of good Christian values or just plain good living.I think you will find many answers to that.
Atheists you don’t have all the answers,and it can be plainly seen by some of your stupid answers.Your always quoting someone else or else just trying to be smart.It all seems so lame.
When you say Christian values, what do you think Christian values are.Values can be good and moral always trying to do whats right,but what is your idea of good Christian values
When deciding how we all should be good
And trying to act just as we should
There’s no help in the scripture
As Euthyphro can tell ya
If God knew what’s good then we all would
It technically does, because the rules only aimed at the “other” person. Bummer, you would have been a great adversary. But a great poem nontheless.
Adams was certainly ahead of his time. Won’t it be great when religions are permanently referred to by all as; Christian Mythology and Islamic Mythology? I can see it now, history books will start this historical chapter as, “Back in the 21st century, during the end of the second dark ages …
Tech has his doubts – it’s clear why he’s here.
His god up above has yet to appear.
He prays and he prays but I’ll act as seer.
God isn’t there. He popped out for a beer.
There was a wise man from Virginia,
with his wit alone he could skin ya.
“Religions are all alike”
He replied, “I dislike”
“Fables, myths, and the church, they’re not linear.”
“So let’s keep them out of our state,
since their logic is truly low rate.
They’ll just buggar the kid
while their rhetoric will rid
our people from a free rational fate.”
Mr Jefferson cut up a Bible
losing words he thought were not viable
Though we wonder today
Why not go all the way
christly thoughts, we all know they’re not viable.
If he only had sought out the Moor
and gave food and support to the poor
then mohammed would fail
foolish thoughts? no avail
they would hide behind veils none the more.
And our own little Troll who’s named Tech
who’s mind is a terrible wreck
could stop trying so hard
and his thoughts not be barred
’cause he’d realize; we don’t give a Fek.
There was an old blowhard named Steve
through humor, had tried to relieve
Though he thought he was funny
In truth, was just punny
But the faithful they just couldn’t conceive
So if you take offense at my joke
strike back! I’m an affable bloke
through my words I do try
to point out the lies
by devout ones; our freedoms to choke.
All I can think to say steve is: HOLY COW!!! You have waaaaay toooooo much time on yours there mate! Outstanding poems though! When this is all said and done, perhaps we should publish a book.
Holy Crap! We have ourselves some pretty talented heathens here! Way to go, boys and girls. Everyone gets an extra shot of sambucca.
There once was a man named VanHagen
For Christ, his tongue was a waggin’
One day he found reason
The next he found treason
And jumped off that God-damned bandwagon!
That brought tears to my eyes. Oh wait, sorry it’s just this onion on my burger.
My clergy said we need to believe.
Facts are not needed you see.
When the rapture comes around.
We’ll not be caught with pants down.
Unless its under the alter with me.
Time: 4.55 I’m getting slower at this “creating” thing.
After seeing some of the great stuff here, I thought I’d better try harder!
Thomas J. liked to use his head,
for more than just a hat rack.
He envisioned a wall to protect us all
from the clergy’s witless attacks.
But the clergy were canny,
the clergy were smart,
and tirelessly do they try,
to climb over Tom’s wall
of ideas and words,
it’s a good thing he’d sense to build high.
Have any of you folks ever visited this blog? http://forum.richarddawkins.net/viewtopic.php?f=46&t=98084 There is a guy on here who goes on quite a rant about most of the points debated between believers and atheists. It’s rather wordy, but well worth the read. Grab a cup ….errr, pot of coffee or two …and a dictionary prior to reading it. Apparently it’s a work in progress, however he has several valid points. Caution; for those of you with sensitive ears, he is a bit on the vulgar side.
So I’m gone a few days ’cause I’m busy,
Then come back to a site in a tizzy;
While the atheists rhyme,
In verse so sublime,
Poor tech – He’s still divine-dizzy!
LOL Captain, that one about tech was hilarious. Thanks for the good laugh.
HS, it’s a Haiku, dammit. It’s not supposed to rhyme!! If you say it slowly it works better. And Japanese haiku is a highly skilled art form – if you can read Japanese you’ll understand what I mean.
Good first effort Oxymoronic.
What happened to the troll? Well…
The troll came back
The very next day
The troll came back
We thought it was a goner
The troll came back
He couldn’t stay away
The troll came back
To give himself a boner.
March 5th, 2010 at 1:26
Ok, I’m gonna take a run at this…
I pray to a god call Éclair,
That has chocolate where there should be hair,
I worship each day
In the same delish way
Now I’m too fat to climb up my stairs.
Maybe not clever but it’s the end of the day and I’m hungry.
P.S. the truth of Jefferson’s statement is self-evident.
March 5th, 2010 at 1:49
Captain, well done.
Your p.s. alone is apt.
But I am hoarding whatever brain cells I have left until this Ten Day run is over before starting the next one.
March 5th, 2010 at 2:24
TJ wanted the US a christian nation, my ass!
March 5th, 2010 at 4:06
My god of all is called Nod
Some people think he’s quite odd
People say he’s not real
It’s quite an ordeal
Yet all evidence says he’s my god
NOT!
Wow, less than two and half minutes!
P.S. What does Jefferson know? He’s never even heard of Nod.
March 5th, 2010 at 4:49
bullshit! u dont believe a horse developed wings and flew muhammad to heaven to talk to jesus, abraham, julius caeser, and santa clause??? blasphemy! ull burn in hell for such thoughts!! u must accept these facts to save your soul!
March 5th, 2010 at 6:18
A forced trip in summer
A relic to see
This little boy in Mecca
Will never be free
Thomas was a true visionary, as many of the founding fathers were. I find it oddly satisfying that America, land of the right-wing conservative wing-nut, was founded by men who would never recognize the brand of Christianity being practiced there today. And to think that most of these Americans use Thomas Jefferson as an argument to support their claim that the US was founded on Christian values. Few western politicians today could ever be elected if they voiced similar sentiments.
March 5th, 2010 at 7:05
Which makes me wonder what we’ve given up. As you point out, GWG, Jefferson probably could not be elected to high office in America. Could this be why the level of discourse in the Congress seems like a circus some days and a tent revival others?
March 5th, 2010 at 9:53
From steve yesterday
I wish it had been my idea but It was Holysmokes here. Apart from which I’m not very good at keeping rules, let alone making them.
March 5th, 2010 at 12:07
When you say Christian values, what do you think Christian values are.Values can be good and moral always trying to do whats right,but what is your idea of good Christian values or just plain good living.I think you will find many answers to that.
March 5th, 2010 at 12:10
Atheists you don’t have all the answers,and it can be plainly seen by some of your stupid answers.Your always quoting someone else or else just trying to be smart.It all seems so lame.
March 5th, 2010 at 13:34
You Christians are always quoting from the same one book. You’ve got to admit that’s worst.
March 5th, 2010 at 13:57
When deciding how we all should be good
And trying to act just as we should
There’s no help in the scripture
As Euthyphro can tell ya
If God knew what’s good then we all would
hope this complies with “da rooolz”
March 5th, 2010 at 14:05
It technically does, because the rules only aimed at the “other” person. Bummer, you would have been a great adversary. But a great poem nontheless.
Adams was certainly ahead of his time. Won’t it be great when religions are permanently referred to by all as; Christian Mythology and Islamic Mythology? I can see it now, history books will start this historical chapter as, “Back in the 21st century, during the end of the second dark ages …
March 5th, 2010 at 14:06
Oooops, that should have read. “Jeffeson” not “Adams.” I’m going to my room and think about what i have done.
March 5th, 2010 at 16:08
Mc – NICE poem!
March 5th, 2010 at 16:19
Tech has his doubts – it’s clear why he’s here.
His god up above has yet to appear.
He prays and he prays but I’ll act as seer.
God isn’t there. He popped out for a beer.
March 5th, 2010 at 16:22
There was a wise man from Virginia,
with his wit alone he could skin ya.
“Religions are all alike”
He replied, “I dislike”
“Fables, myths, and the church, they’re not linear.”
“So let’s keep them out of our state,
since their logic is truly low rate.
They’ll just buggar the kid
while their rhetoric will rid
our people from a free rational fate.”
March 5th, 2010 at 16:23
My apologies Holysmokes, for not giving you props.
Looks like the poetry jam is underway.
March 5th, 2010 at 16:45
Quickly, while Holysmokes is still in his room!
Mr Jefferson cut up a Bible
losing words he thought were not viable
Though we wonder today
Why not go all the way
christly thoughts, we all know they’re not viable.
If he only had sought out the Moor
and gave food and support to the poor
then mohammed would fail
foolish thoughts? no avail
they would hide behind veils none the more.
And our own little Troll who’s named Tech
who’s mind is a terrible wreck
could stop trying so hard
and his thoughts not be barred
’cause he’d realize; we don’t give a Fek.
March 5th, 2010 at 16:59
There was an old blowhard named Steve
through humor, had tried to relieve
Though he thought he was funny
In truth, was just punny
But the faithful they just couldn’t conceive
So if you take offense at my joke
strike back! I’m an affable bloke
through my words I do try
to point out the lies
by devout ones; our freedoms to choke.
March 5th, 2010 at 17:25
All I can think to say steve is: HOLY COW!!! You have waaaaay toooooo much time on yours there mate! Outstanding poems though! When this is all said and done, perhaps we should publish a book.
March 5th, 2010 at 17:25
Oooops, guess what I forgot?
March 5th, 2010 at 17:32
…to stay in your room?
Ah. What happens in AMC’s room stays in AMC’s room.
Or, are you telling us that you are intentionally taking a dive?
I am so confused.
I have no idea what the rules are at this point.
I call a Mulligan!
March 5th, 2010 at 18:16
Holy Crap! We have ourselves some pretty talented heathens here! Way to go, boys and girls. Everyone gets an extra shot of sambucca.
There once was a man named VanHagen
For Christ, his tongue was a waggin’
One day he found reason
The next he found treason
And jumped off that God-damned bandwagon!
March 5th, 2010 at 18:43
Tell me, dear God,
What have you done?
You’ve given the loonies
The atom bomb
The preachers are preaching
All in your name
But come judgement day
We’ll all be aflame
Tell me, dear God!
What have you done?!
March 5th, 2010 at 19:46
GWG,
That brought tears to my eyes. Oh wait, sorry it’s just this onion on my burger.
My clergy said we need to believe.
Facts are not needed you see.
When the rapture comes around.
We’ll not be caught with pants down.
Unless its under the alter with me.
Time: 4.55 I’m getting slower at this “creating” thing.
March 5th, 2010 at 19:59
Good one, HS. Good one…
March 5th, 2010 at 20:08
After seeing some of the great stuff here, I thought I’d better try harder!
Thomas J. liked to use his head,
for more than just a hat rack.
He envisioned a wall to protect us all
from the clergy’s witless attacks.
But the clergy were canny,
the clergy were smart,
and tirelessly do they try,
to climb over Tom’s wall
of ideas and words,
it’s a good thing he’d sense to build high.
March 5th, 2010 at 20:42
YOUR all HIGH.
March 5th, 2010 at 21:07
Good one Captain. Very good. I’m impressed with everyone here. Here’s a little haiku for everyone….
Troll…patient…waiting…
under bridge. I walk over.
Pounce! SLAP! Troll…falls…down.
March 5th, 2010 at 21:30
GWG,
Good one! I’m on the edge of my seat. Then what happens to the troll???
March 5th, 2010 at 21:38
Have any of you folks ever visited this blog? http://forum.richarddawkins.net/viewtopic.php?f=46&t=98084 There is a guy on here who goes on quite a rant about most of the points debated between believers and atheists. It’s rather wordy, but well worth the read. Grab a cup ….errr, pot of coffee or two …and a dictionary prior to reading it. Apparently it’s a work in progress, however he has several valid points. Caution; for those of you with sensitive ears, he is a bit on the vulgar side.
March 5th, 2010 at 22:18
Holysmokes asks us
what happened to the troll guy
after slap, no noise.
Haiku strange wild thing
Must know ‘your’ from ‘you’re’ words
The troll blabs on.
March 5th, 2010 at 22:27
steve,
I was hoping you could ad that “period with no space adfterward” in there somewhere too. lol
March 5th, 2010 at 23:04
Tech spouts nonsense,
Tech spouts dreck,
Tech’s only playing
with half a deck.
Just kidding around Tech. All in good fun. Why don’t you take a break from prostheletizing and try your hand? God won’t mind, just this once.
March 6th, 2010 at 0:08
So I’m gone a few days ’cause I’m busy,
Then come back to a site in a tizzy;
While the atheists rhyme,
In verse so sublime,
Poor tech – He’s still divine-dizzy!
Hey, first try people! Give me a break!
March 6th, 2010 at 0:47
Well I for one liked it, but then again I liked them all. Except for that Japanese one that didn’t rhyme. lol
March 6th, 2010 at 0:47
Anyhow, welcome back Oxy.
March 6th, 2010 at 0:58
this is delicious! Maybe we should found a new site “Atheist Haiku of the Day”. Seriously Mo and tech. Lighten up and play along for a bit
March 6th, 2010 at 1:04
LOL Captain, that one about tech was hilarious. Thanks for the good laugh.
HS, it’s a Haiku, dammit. It’s not supposed to rhyme!! If you say it slowly it works better. And Japanese haiku is a highly skilled art form – if you can read Japanese you’ll understand what I mean.
Good first effort Oxymoronic.
What happened to the troll? Well…
The troll came back
The very next day
The troll came back
We thought it was a goner
The troll came back
He couldn’t stay away
The troll came back
To give himself a boner.
Did I just say that? Yep, I did.
March 6th, 2010 at 1:13
PS: I borrowed that last one from a famous cartoon called “The cat came back”. Check it out if you have some time here